Love and Light

Find my comfort

Finding comfort after a loss starts with giving yourself permission to feel your pain without rushing the healing process.  Allow yourself to experience your emotions, create small moments of physical or mental soothing and lean on trusted friends, family or local support when you feel ready.  Healing takes time and your grief has no fixed schedule.  Sadness, anger and numbness are all normal.  For now, avoid making big life decisions.  Share stories or engage in activities that connect you to who you lost in a way that feels right for you.

Join family and friends in doing activities that you like.  

What is it like the first year of grief?  The first year of grief feels like living in a fog.  You move through your days numb, even as tears come without warning.  There is so much to do - calling insurance companies, notifying government offices, dealing with pensions - tasks that feel impossible, yet somehow you complete them.  You tell yourself one day at a time that it will get better.  Then without realizing it, you cross into the second year.  And, that is when the truth settles in.  This is not temporary.  This is your life now.  The world continues to move forward.  People return to their routines, and quietly, they expect you to do the same.  You may look like you are doing better but grief does not work that way.  Grief changes shape and you learn to live with it, to carry it differently but it remains a part of you.

You move forward with the one you lost, hold them in your heart, in your memories and in every quiet moment in between.